It’s the second episode of Season 14 and I don’t know about you all but I am fully invested in these strangers’ lives.
The episode begins with some reflection about the first challenge. Who did well and why? Gabrielle mentions that the people who did well were the ones who used Tim’s critique as a springboard to transform their garment into something more interesting. Is Gabrielle one of those reserved types that will occasionally chime in with a brilliant word of wisdom and clarity? Maybe this is just the first time Merline has been quiet enough to let anyone else be heard.
The group makes their way into a Hallmark store and it’s all dreamy pastels and shocks of glitter. When was the last time I bought a greeting card? With modern technology and busy schedules and, I dunno, let’s throw “the economy” in this short list of curmudgeonly complaints I’ve started, I haven’t bought a thoughtful greeting card for someone in eons. But these cards are so lovely that I might actually start again.
The Challenge: Surprise! Dreaded by designers but a joy for viewers, it’s an Unconventional Materials Challenge! Amy Merchant, the Director of Branding for Hallmark’s Signature, helps Tim break the news to the designers that they’ll be using the cards both as an inspiration for their looks and as their material. And they’re pretty lucky, considering these 21st century cards have all kinds of embellishments that they can use as fabric. The future is now, people!
At Tim’s “go” we see the type of hysterical feeding frenzy we’ve become so comfortable with in the “Runway” universe. With one day to complete the challenge, these guys and gals have no time to be timid. When time is up the store looks like an actual disaster area and I wonder who has to clean it all up. Oh no, I hope it’s not Director of Branding for Hallmark’s Signature, Amy Merchant! She’s not built for hard labor!
We can’t worry about that now because the designers are back in the workroom and ready to create wearable art. And they’re super nice about sharing materials. Well, everyone’s nice about it except Edmond. He keeps his design completely under wraps, even to the producers of the show. This garment is classified state’s secrets-type stuff. I don’t even care that he’s being a paranoid weirdo about it, though. My heart belongs to Edmond.
Edmond’s got his undercover garment. Amanda lucked out with some cool lace-looking paper. Swapnil needs more butterflies. Kelly is creating fringe from paper. Everything is going so well, EXCEPT–
Blake. He’s lost. He has a bunch of cards that say “fabulous” with which he’s done nothing so far, and that is decidedly un-fabulous. And then when Swapnil doesn’t understand what Blake’s saying, Blake says, “I don’t know how to speak Indian.” There is a resounding “Whoaaa” throughout the room but Swapnil is really cool about it and just focuses on his work. Blake claims he “doesn’t have a filter,” and I’m not going to go into why this is frustrating and irritating and wrong but I will say that playing dumb to cover up your prejudices is a pretty ugly thing to do. So when Blake describes himself as “actually adorable,” I’m actually vomiting.
During Tim’s critiques we learn the following very important things:
– Swapnil is doing an “Alice in Wonderland on acid” look, which seems redundant and also like the best Halloween costume ever
– Blake is going HAM on that glitter
– Merline forgot to include an entrance and exit plan for her model (whoops)
– Jake is in the running for “most blah”
– Edmond is doing a wedding gown
– David is adorable and his little ponytail swings back and forth as he shakes his head in distress; his point of view as a designer is in no way reflected in his design (uh-oh)
– In its early stages, Gabrielle’s look has that “Katniss Everdeen in a dress made of fire” flare to it
– Amanda’s top is brilliant but she has no skirt
Merline warns David that he’s using too much muslin. She calls it “fabric” this time, one can only assume to avoid any further misspeaking. She has a point, but David thinks it’ll be fine. Later Kelly and Candice express similar concerns but David shrugs it off.
Ashley cries again. I have a feeling the waterworks from this one will be as reliable as Old Faithful.
Just before the designers head out onto the runway Ashley mentions that when she looks at Gabrielle’s dress, all she can see is a certain part of the female anatomy. Well, let’s not mince words (Ashley certainly didn’t): The exact quote is, “Gabrielle’s color combination is just weird, and I would have never placed it that way. I just think ‘vagina.'” Oh boy. Or oh girl, I suppose.
Runway: Heidi exclaims that this is one of her favorite challenges because it forces the designers to ramp up their creativity. At this point I tried to use my ESP to warn Heidi not to get too excited but then I remembered “Project Runway” is not live and I don’t have ESP.
Heidi introduces the judges: Zac with his beautiful, full, very on-trend eyebrows; Nina with her angry-angel scowl; and guest judge, star of “Clipped,” and author of new style site “The Haute Mess,” Ashley Tisdale. Who will bop to the top? (I’m so sorry, I couldn’t help myself.)
The Top:
Kelly: A gold fringe mid-thigh length skirt and a fitted, sleeveless, gold, pink-and-white crop top with a hood. Made of paper. Seriously, what this woman did with a stack of cards is genius. Heidi and Nina worry that there’s too much going on but no one can deny that the texture and dimension of the garment exceeded expectations for the challenge.
Swapnil: A fitted black and white button down sleeveless top with a colorful flower-covered skirt. Heidi and I agree that the way the flowers pop off the bottom of the skirt is delightful. Zac calls it “whimsical and practical and also wearable.”
Blake: A pink and purple glitter-covered high-low party dress. The judges thought it was a lot of fun and that he did a great job with proportions and fit. I don’t know that I would have put it in my top looks, but I’m certainly not offended by it.
Edmond, the winner: This clever man made a wedding dress (and wore a tuxedo printed t-shirt to match). This dress has everything: a sweetheart neckline, a super low back, and a full skirt. It’s fitted and extreme. He even made the model’s bouquet out of paper. Everyone is very impressed and Edmond fulfills his lifelong dream of winning a challenge on “Project Runway.”
The Bottom:
Amanda: A black lacey-looking top with colorful graphic print peeking through, plus a skirt. The skirt is…crazy. It looks like loops of different holiday gift-wrapping paper. It’s big and weird and so sad because the top is killer.
David: A long sleeve grey jacket/dress with pockets. Pretty much the whole thing is made of muslin, with typographic elements from the cards glued on. It’s a grey jacket with the words “hot damn” repeated down the right panel. The judges like the look but David didn’t follow the rules. It’s disappointing because it really seems like he’s got a lot of talent. While the judges deliberate David cries a bit and to be honest, so do I.
Unfortunately, David is sent home this week and I’m really going to miss his dimples, his accent, and his precious little bouncy ponytail.
