Some people think that designing and creating lingerie is so easy. “What’s so difficult? It’s just a bra and panties,” they say. I learned a long time ago, the simplest things in fashion are usually the most difficult to design and/or create. It was way back in Season 2 when the producers last decided to have a lingerie challenge and unfortunately, I, along with my fellow cast mates were the victims. So yes, I was feeling the pain of the contestants in last night’s episode. But one thing I wasn’t feeling was sympathy for some of the tacky-licious things that came down that runway. Time to begin the panty raid…
The episode begins with Heidi greeting the designers on the runway stage accompanied by mannequins in bras and panties as well as posters of Ms. Klum in her lace skivvies. I think to myself, “Hmm, will this have anything to do with Heidi’s lingerie line?” And before I finished my thought, she announces that the challenge is to design a lingerie set inspired by her Heidi Klum Intimates line with a big incentive: the winning look will be reproduced as part of the collection and sold on HeidiKlumIntimates.com.
After an up closea anda personal inspection of the lingerie, the designers head to the workroom where they find the tables covered in lace, stretch fabric and notions. No trip to Mood, again. In case anyone is counting, we’re in the sixth episode and only one Mood visit so far. I’m beginning to think Mood might feel like a jilted ex-girlfriend.
During this workroom time, we learn three things: Jake has worn lingerie before (Um, TMI!), Blake has no idea where the “downt there lady parts” are (Seriously?!), and Lindsey has a scissors accident requiring her to go to the hospital, whereupon she gets a tetanus shot and stitches. And people think, fashion is soooo FABULOUS!
Hours later, Heidi and Tim walk in to check in on the designers’ progress, or lack there of. Heidi’s very critical and not holding back her opinions. She calls Edmond “Captain Tacky” (His design was looking hooker-licious.), wonders where the whip is for Candice’s design (Very Frederick’s of Hollywood S&M lite), mentions the dreaded “M” word (Matronly) to “MADAME Joseph,” and tells “Princess Blakey” that his design is not unique. A highlight here was Tim’s “making pesto sauce without enough basil” analogy in regards to Swapnil running out of material for his bra and panties design. Good one, Tim! At the end of her visit, Heidi informs the designers to meet her on the runway in ten minutes. Uh oh…
The designers do as they are told and are back on the runway stage, only to find it strewn with pillows, blankets, slippers, and pajamas. There’s good news and bad news. Heidi tells them the bad first. In addition to the bra and panties, they are to create a cover-up. And now, the good–the designers don’t have to go back to their apartments and instead, they can sleep here and enjoy a slumber party. I know this may seem like a let down in terms of good news but, I’m sure the designers were happy to not go through the rigmarole that involves getting them to their apartments after a long day of working, only to wake up at 5am to go back to the workroom location. This takes HOURS. Trust me, I know. So since they were under such time restraints already–and now with this added “twist”–they were happy to have extra time working…until the wee hours, one assumes.
Runway day is here and the designers get woken up by Tim Gunn doing his best impression of Ebenezer Scrooge. The designers change into their GLAM “Runway Day” outfits. PS: where did they get those outfits? Were they advised to bring an extra outfit before they were even told what the challenge was? Where did they change? Did they shower? Did they just do a splash spray? I’m confused. Inquiring minds (me!) want to know. I’ll leave that up to the readers here on the “Project Runway” blog to ponder. Moving on. It’s only a few hours until the runway and both Jake and Blake have no cover-up’s. Really?! Nothing?!
Guest judge is actress Bella Thorne. Before I give my critiques on the runway looks, I want to say this: As much as I love Miss Heidi and her Intimates collection, I’m not a fan of these types of “Project Runway” challenges. One of the wonderful things about “Project Runway” and especially, the runway show, is the anticipation of something surprising–the hope of seeing something “new” and perhaps otherworldly, in terms of fashion and design. In this challenge—and runway–we know what it’s going to be: bras, panties and a robe or wrap. I love seeing the “unexpected” on “Project Runway” and unfortunately with this challenge, I knew that wasn’t going to happen. With that off my chest, let’s get to the good…and Blake.
I liked the looks created by Swapnil, Ashley and especially, Kelly. They were inspiring, fresh in terms of design and more importantly, looked finished. I LOVED Kelly’s hooded cover-up as well as her two-piece look. It helped that her model’s body looked like that of an Olympic decathlete. Now, speaking of models, they all deserve a week’s vacation at a Best Western…in Tahiti! Poor things had to stand there, showing their “bizness” and every other inch of their bodies. They deserve a huge pay raise for having the camera’s zoom in on all their private parts. Yikes!
I didn’t mind Laurie’s design and thought the knotted bra was quite cute. But yes, I was a bit flummoxed by the 1984-looking panties. I lived through that decade and the thigh-high panty is a don’t-bring-back retro style. I admit that I was surprised at how much the judges liked Merline’s black lace look and gave her the win. I could not understand how she did not use any foundation for her bra. I wanted to SCREAM at her the entire time she was draping it on the form. Additionally, I think her bra was very limiting and would only work for INCREDIBLY small chested gals. But alas, I am sure that will all be taken care of when it goes into production.
And now, the bottom. When I saw that Jake and Blake were the bottom two, I had no doubt as to who I thought should be out. Blake’s was singlehandedly the worst. Ever. The saggy boobies, the nipple cover-ups, and the uneven and badly sewn straps… The judges didn’t even bring up his last-minute cover-up, which was just a piece of fabric. They complained about Jake’s design being unimaginative yet praised Blake’s color. Seriously? Talk about reaching for an excuse. To me, this was pretty obvious. Bad vs. boring. I would vote out bad. And yes, luckily the judges didn’t go rogue this week and voted Blake off.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, after all these years I still have nightmares about lederhosen and antlers. Just Google “Project Runway” and the above two words and you’ll know what I’m talking about.
